I have recently learned that I view the world as I see it. My views are based off of my experiences and events that have taken place in the past. If things were to change in the present, I still focus on the past events as determining the present. I also feel like things I want should be happening now. I have no patience to wait.
Even though I am not happy to admit it, I do try to force things I want to happen to happen right away. My boyfriend is working on getting things taken care of to move in with me. It is taking a long time. I have been arguing with him often that I want it to happen now.
In the beginning of our relationship, things were very difficult between us. Now that things are better, I still worry that things from the past will happen again. This causes us to argue because I am always wrong. This mostly comes from me wanting us to start our lives together. I say often that I want to stop taking my birth control so we can have a baby.
This is called consensus reality. The person has a narrow and limiting mindset when it comes to how they see the world. To combat these thoughts, you have to come up with a productive way to achieve how your goal. It will help instill the confidence to reach your goals.
The second mindset is called having a dualistic mindset. These people view the world as everything being right or wrong. You can’t be both. They see themselves as being successful or a failure. They are tear themselves apart if they can’t have the things they want. This can be one of the most damaging mindsets because someone with a dualistic mindset is overly hard on themselves.
The best way to combat your anxiety when you feel this way is to remember you can’t control how life turns out. If you want to achieve success, it will take time. You just need to make decision based on what feel right and hope things turn out okay. If it doesn’t, you need to try again making a different decision.
A person with an illusion of control mindset will try to control everything. I have a degree of this mindset as well. My anxiety causes me to worry that something might be wrong if it takes my boyfriend a while to respond to my texts. I will send him several messages freaking out that something bad happened to him. People with this mindset will also feel responsible for others problems. They feel worthless once they realize they can’t control everything. To them, bad things will happen if they let go of the control.
To combat this, try making a list of things you know you can control. If there is anything you can’t control practice letting them go. It can be scary at first, but it will relieve a lot of your anxiety once you do.
Do you fit into one of these mindsets? How do you challenge the thoughts?