I have talked about my experience with trying to find a new job on here many times. I haven’t had any good luck. It could have been my fault or the hiring team at the places I got interviews at. After each failure, I have been quick to blame my social anxiety.
The reason I am is because I have never had a job I got on my own. My first job I got as a teenager was through my county office. They had a summer program for teens where they helped you find work experience. The meeting I had to attend was small. Maybe about 10 families there. They give you a sheet with a list of jobs from companies that want to take part in their program. The county is the one that pays you. I worked at the same company 2 summers in a row.
Before my parents took me to do this program, I had tried getting jobs on my own. I failed each time because I wasn’t in school activities and was terrible at talking to others. Answering the interviews questions was extremely difficult. Some questions would take me a while to think of what to say. I also was very closed off, quiet and not energetic. I had no personality.
That personality stayed with me after I graduated high school. I tried desperately to find a job. The interviews all went the same. Mentally, I was in an even worse place than I am now. Getting a job didn’t matter to me. They say practice will help me get better but it didn’t.
Later in the winter, my dad told me to apply at the place he worked at. I did. He took me to HR and I got helped filling out the application. I was able to pass the interview and get the coat check position. My dad spoke to the managers of the coat check to improve my chances. On my own, I don’t think I would have gotten the job. I tried finding full-time work elsewhere while working part-time. I didn’t get any offers after the interview process.
The only reason I was able to get the full-time job I have now is because it was in the same department I already worked in with coat check. They know my work ethic so I was able to ask and switch to the hotel. I didn’t have to go through the interview process because they knew what they needed to about me.
My current job is horrible but it isn’t where I want to be. I needed a full-time job desperately at the time because I lost my insurance benefits through my parents. I took what I could get. For a while, I have been searching and applying to what I would rather have. I can get interviews but nothing else. I also have had many horrible experiences that I have talked about on this blog.
With each interview, I have grown in how I respond to questions. I have also gotten advice from my boyfriend. Still, I can’t get another job that would let me grow or is more for me. I think it is because of my social anxiety and how closed off my emotions are. This makes it difficult for people to get to know me or see the kind the person I am. I have had one person tell me during an interview that he doesn’t see me being a fit for the job because he couldn’t read me to know if I actually wanted the job.
I have stopped looking for now because it feels pointless with the type of person I am. It’s like I am stuck and have to stay where I don’t want to be. I want to think I am wrong and should keep trying, but I don’t see how I could be wrong.
Do you feel like you mental health makes finding a job difficult?